Aunthood

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I’ve been on the go this past week being in super aunt mode. And let me tell you it’s been a chaotic joy. This week is also about to come to an end and I will be sad to leave this crowd.

During my stay many things have been accomplished. I helped one of my nephews finish a 300 piece puzzle with four pieces missing. I was chased around by a boy who once again found the box more entertaining than the toy that was inside of it. I got to help host a 6 year old’s birthday party where masses of children and myself jumped, and then struggled out of, a giant foam pit at a gym.

When the house got too filled with relatives from out of town, I found my home in the backyard in a tent. In this tent I woke up to: cicada shells on the outside, rain, heat, firecrackers being set off at eleven on a Saturday night, little boys in the morning joining me in the tent with their plastic wrenches, and to squirrels smacking their lips.

I groomed my sisters cat of all its dreadlocks, and was also given a gorgeous new tea pot. I went for a day to the museum and saw a replica of a fish that has its penis on its forehead. I also saw a ton of dinosaur bones and had to leave the dinosaur section when I got frustrated with old men who were boastfully pointing out velociraptor bones when they were not velociraptor bones. I also paid more for a 3d movie about dinosaurs from the museum and promptly missed the time I was meant to go by 2 hours.

I got to build a Star Wars Lego set for my nephews because neither of them are old enough to understand instruction diagrams. My oldest nephew made a lemonade stand and made a surprinsingly good amount of money from.

I’ve tackled on the role of aunt and I’ve been wearing it proudly. But it has certainly made me weary from keeping up with them. I look forward to seeing your post chelso mow!

C is for Chelso

imageI am among the few who love their jigsaw puzzles. Found this gem the other day at the exchange shop, and it reminded me of how you found the “G is for Golf” puzzle. The best part is these cheesy puzzles aren’t even bad mysteries. They’re amazing and well written and a lot of fun, so my entire body tingled with delight when I found this and I’m pumped to play it with my dad for his birthday.

I also wanted this picture up because I want to mention how excited I’ve become with the promise of cappuccino foam from the gods in my future. I am looking forward to this adventure greatly.

In addition, I joined the unholy Pinterest because I realized I have no understanding of home decor and what I like. I feel like I always change things in my living space and then get frustrated with the end results. This might stem from the lack of any knowledge I have on the subject.

I’ve also started to wash my face twice now. I’m very surprised by the change already. My face is so grateful.

I’m sorry this post will be a bit short and rambly this week. But I will make up for it when things are no longer on the go.

Actual Life Hacks (that aren’t just dumb ways of doing things)

     Chelsea Attempts to Educate

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Too many life hack blogs are about dumb DIY projects that ultimately make you look like your parents just sent you to camp and they ran out of uncooked macaroni. Here are just some things I have learned throughout the years. I am often branded a know it all but I promise I did not come up with these things myself. I have simply just stored in my memory all the things anyone has ever told me is important. These things range from tangible to emotional, I hope they are of service to some. I figured this topic would be interesting for you my fellow mow, since it has popped up on the podcast list more than once!
1. Always wash your face more than once. My dermatologist once told me that the first      wash is to get all the gunk clogging your pores but the second wash cleans out all the stuff inside of your little tiny face holes.

2. To save tupperware from unsightly stains spray them with cooking spray first. Courtesy of my step-dad

3. If you can count your good friends on one hand you are doing better than most. Courtesy of my mom

4. Moving sucks, and on one will ever help you unless you have already helped them. Courtesy of my dad

5. Never say  “that was my fault” at the scene of an accident. Courtesy of Wawanessa Insurance

6. If your only reason for not doing something is because of how other people would react, you do not have a good reason. Personal experience

7. If you stink up a bathroom at a party fill the toilet with hand soap or shampoo if its available, it works magic. If you are increasingly desperate run the sink with warm water and do the same thing. Regrettably Personal experience

8. If you are extra stinky or want to keep smelling nice all day long put lotion on your hair. I have found that the lotion scent lingers longer than perfume.

9. To avoid cavities take your tooth brush and and dip it in mouthwash after your normal brush, this allows for the antiseptic to rub into those crevices. Also don’t drink anything for 30 minutes after. Courtesy of my Dental Hygenist

10. Going Camping? Bring baby wipes. It is also a useful way to take a quick bird bath in the wilderness.
11. If you have thin/short nails put neosporin on your cuticle line, it is magic. Courtesy of a Family Friend

12. Need to save money? Tithe to yourself, take 10% out of every paycheck and put it into your savings. Also a great way to be a millionaire before you retire. Courtesy of a youth conference from when I was 15.

13. Always clarify to your friends if you want advice or if you want to vent. It saves a lot of time and frustration.

14. Keep an old phone in your glove box. Even unactivated phones can call 911.

15. Leg cramps after working out? A lot of time tis can be from an ineffective cool down, make sure to take at least five minutes of light walking followed by stretching after a work out.

16. 3500 calories in one pound. Simply an important thing to know for us trying to lose weight.

17. Always have tissues. Always. Courtesy of the other mow, Ms. Mern

19. Never ask a question you do not want to know the answer to.  Constantly said by my dad

20. Antibiotics have an experiation date. Some can be toxic after they have expired. Courtesy of my nurse friend

21. Only use web md. if you want to scare yourself.

I feel like 21 is a good number to end on! I hope you enjoyed this even if it was repetitive! That is all from this mow this week! Any additions? Comment!

“Can I look through your purse??”

Upon your request, I’m going to go through my purse today too! I loved your purse post Chelsea, it got me deep. I remember asking you this when I first met you because I loved watching what’s-in-your-purse videos online at the time. It’s like peering into someone’s soul in a bizarre way. Your soul has a fork in it haha.

I’m also going to try to stay true to the reality and just give you the whole of what is stashed in my black hole. Normally I like to go through my purse once a week and get rid of the random garbage that finds its way in there. However, I’ve been traveling and have had no time or mind to do it so you get to see Maryanne’s travel purse state.

Let’s also start with the purse itself. This purse was yours at one point in time and you graced me with the opportunity to use it. It’s beautiful and I love it. It’s large and I can stuff most anything in it, and it has a glorious owl on the front that stares. I also washed in before I left home, so it’s all clean and ready to stare at the world.

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Inside this glorious purse the main event is my wallet as well. I do not love this wallet as much as you love yours. I bought it out of a need for a wallet with a zipper and I enjoy stripes and blue. However, I’ve been eager to replace it but have yet to find something more suitable for me. I took out all of the extra receipts and change that usually litter it – before the trip. So this is a poor representation of what it usually looks like. I kind of feel like I have cleaned my house and did my makeup before a guest came over and then casually pretended like that is what it is always like. No, this is a very very poor representation. Normally I can’t even zip my wallet back up without it snagging and ripping five or six shredded receipts.

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Next we have the heap of garbage that is in the middle of my purse.

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Starting on the left, we have my usual things, such as chapstick, headphones, hand sanitizer, and hair pins/ties. Those are the more obvious items to have in a purse, along with pocket tissues (the blue thing with a bee on it), little baggy pharmaceutical station (where I keep all my aspirins and allergy medicine), and external battery (the teal and pink bar next to the pink baggy with the wires for the external battery, which I never charge so it’s kind of just dead weight). These are the things I usually keep in my purse. The traveling has brought in the sunscreen, the bag of peanuts in case I’m hungry, the little polka dot bag that has my tampons in it (as to attempt to be discreet as I rush off to the bathroom with little bag in hand), jewelry to wear at my grandma’s memorial, and the black tights all rolled up (ready to help out in a leg emergency). In the bottom left corner there’s all the things I acquired during her memorial (yes, that is a bottle of her. Alongside it are pamphlets from the memorial, pens she used to buy from a catalog and send out to all the relatives, and little trinkets she used to collect from the shore).

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On the right there is my hotel room key, a camera I haven’t used this entire trip (despite charging it and prepping it before I came), a couple of napkins, sunglasses, a massive water bottle (I like to stay hydrated), a notebook with a fancy pen that Chelsea made fun of me for buying, and my kindle. Normally there would have been a lot more garbage at the bottom of my bag and random change, but that’s been cleared out before I went on the move. If I were to assess my personality from looking at the insides of my bag, I would think I’m a paranoid person that feels the need to prepare for anything haha.

I hope you enjoy this purse-tour at least a fraction of the amount in which I enjoyed yours. I also hope your week has been lovely miss Chelso Mow and I look forward to your next post! When I return there will be a punishment that I will attend to.

WHAT’S IN MY PURSE ?!?!?!?1

WHAT WHAT IN THE PURSE
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Dear Lady Mobley of the Wistful Wombats,
Many people do not know the makings of our first conversation, I think it is important that they know, so it went a little like this:
Me: Hello! I’m Chelsea!

Maryanne: I’m Maryanne! Can I look in your purse?

Naturally I obliged, as to not show fear. Maryanne then went through my purse which is better described as a wasteland for all of my crap. I tried to keep a straight face as to not show immense embarrassment for the weird nature of my purse contents. At that point in time the most memorable item was a metal fork.

My goal for this sort of challenge or blog or whatever is to keep it real. At the end of the day I am a five year old boy and the closest I will come to batman’s utility belt is my purse. Lately I have tried to be more of a person and get my shit together for grad school and such so here is my very honest attempt to being a person.

First Thing First

Here is the purse. It is brown and gold and I like it. It was a birthday gift from my Grandma (The live one). It is different and frankly I have no idea what brand it is and I have no idea where to even look. It doesn’t really have any pockets so it serves as a black hole for all of my portable belongings.

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Logically my wallet resides inside of the black hole. It has been the most durable wallet I have ever owned. It is easy to clean and fits all my crap I do and dont need. It is a Harvey’s wallet and was a gift from my mom. It is two years old and I won’t need a replacement for a long time. As you can see my wallet is cluttered like the rest of my life and really is separated into three areas. The left: which contains important things, The right: which includes important things as well as useless things, The middle: which to ordinary people would be referred to as the coin pouch, mine however never sees any coins due to laziness. The reason this pouch is mentioned is that every once in a while I forget how to person and put my debit card in there. I proceed to panic until I start thinking like a moron in order to retrace my steps. Here is what it looks like.
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The next item is also another gift from my mom. It is a little pouch that is essentially a real woman’s emergency kit. There are things from band aids to a little deodorant wipe for those times you forget how to person (guilty as charged). There is a little thing of mouth wash, dental floss, and even a make up remover toilette. It is compact and pretty cute. Well here is a picture! ( sorry the first one is upside down. I have a bad case of the dumbs and cant fix it)
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Now for the big items I just had on me today. We have my keys with their signature puff ball from the lovely store of Daiso as well my Kindle Fire.
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Now comes the fun part! All of the random stuff that pooled at the bottom of the black hole. Most of this stuff is pretty self explanatory. I have a movie stub from march (Still Alice, a great movie if you want to be depressed), A half open piece of spearmint gum that will never be eaten. Burt’s Bees chapstick, One of the 14 nickels in my purse (yes 14), An off brand version of claritin. A pocket knife (see i’m batman), A lighter ( just in case someone asks for one), flashlight (flower power model), A wadded up receipt of undecipherable origin, a small toothpaste for sensitive teeth, tampon, and a multivitamin.
Moving on to the picture on the right: We have a handfull of spearmint life savers, my planner with checkbook shoved inside, a blonde hair tie, dental floss, hand sanitizer, a miniature of Jake the Dog from adventure time, A pen ( La Verne Represent), A hoard of random cards that have no use, and an old cellphone that is also a very reliable paper weight.

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Well that’s what is in my purse! It is scary. But that is me trying to be a person! This is my request for your next post! Due the same Mern!

Forever and Ever, Life is a disaster,

-CHELSEA

Fun of Traveling

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We all hate it. Long hours in cramped spaces. Packing yourself up with less and less space that costs more and more. Screaming babies, panicking flight attendants, and people with poor spatial awareness, all in one pressurized air tube.

Today I get to experience this colorful haze of glory in order to attend a family reunion. It’s going from one frying pan into another! You know the saying Chelso.

I have only found relief in this process by distracting myself with people watching, because there’s always something weird to look at in an airport. Currently I have people doing yoga in front of me, waiting at the gate. If nothing else, I would have missed this had I stayed home today.

This may be the last family reunion that this side of my family has for many many years to come. My grandma passed recently, and she was the glue that held this weird group together. And without her presence I doubt this weird group will come together to be weird in the future. I always have an awkward time with “lasts,” because there is an inherent importance with it that I never know what to do with other than to accept it. I also found that if I do more than just accept it I really just cry a lot. That’s what last means to me, lots of tears haha.

And I felt that you should know Chelsea, that the only thing I have been genuinely looking forward to is to finally use the silly blowup travel pillow you gave me.

Cookies and love

To my lovely wonderful whimsical walrus, Ms. Maryanne,

So I always make my “famous” dark chocolate cookies before I go to arizona and this trip was no different! I made them bigger and they are much more gooey and delicious. I did burn a few for Tim to appease his need for dead cookies. I even sort of took pictures of my journey!

I had plans to document each step but the melting chocolate all over my hands deterred me from taking too many pictures. As always they are very very very unhealthy for you but very much naturally gluten free.
I found this one day on the internet and it has remained the best thing I can make. Although there are so many steps and so many batches I get very very board. That is why I will always miss you the most when I am baking. You are a great cooking wingman and take over when I get bored which is frequently.

My mom took over your role in eating cookies. However she is also an asset because she did all the dishes. Which these darn cookies require a huge mess. But in the end it is always worth it.

The downside of making these cookies better and better each time is that people want more and more. I ended up leaving a good chunk with my mom because she liked them so much. Definitely don’t regret it but I am going to be up to tripling the recipe the next time I make them. I have this weird syndrome where I always feel like I didn’t make enough cookies. I defintely have over 30 but yet I still feel panicked.

These cookies have become something I am quite proud of, because before these cookies no one was impressed by any of my cooking skills. Now I am making those haters obese and addicted to my cookies.

I am super excited to see you! Just one day away!

Here is the mess…

IMG_0276-1here is the product! ( i dont know why this is being made into a link. halp.

Here are the beautiful cookies!

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Someone has been a bad bad oyster

SHAME. SHAME.

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Maryanne posted a whole TWO days late. Well it is time to pay the piper. I decided that for each day she was late the punishment was going to intensify. I wanted to do something that Maryanne is good at but something I would enjoy. Of course It will require an additional post (separate from her one per week) to let me fully enjoy this humiliation.
THE TERMS:

1. Maryanne must go to a public place with people bustling about with a sign that tells people to subscribe to my podcast. I want photo documentation.
2. Maryanne must ask five strangers to take a selfie with her. Of course photodocumentation is required.
3. Must include all photos in the post! 

I will give you two weeks to complete.

Fashion Show

Hello Chelsea!!

In the summer heat, you have to find things to do inside. Recently there was a cat fashion show in town, showing off the most recent names in fashion. The Cat’s Meow was an incredible show with lots of talent and style that really took my breath away. I attended this event and decided to blog about the experience and the styles I got to behold. A great way to beat the heat and be entertained!

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This was from the out-of-season line, a sneak peek to the cozy sweater season look. Hard to not sweat just looking at it in this weather! But regardless, very comfy looking. This piece has a very nice accentuating neck line. The inlaid designs were quaint and tasteful. A very soft masculine look for in the fall!

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This piece was for the swimsuit portion of the show. What a great look for summer! The ruffles and cut really added to a pear-shaped body. Emphasizes the torso to take away from the hips. Very fun and whimsical.

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What a fun look for the corporate jockey. A suit-jacket and button down ensemble with a little bit of flare. Masculine boxy appeal with electric fish scale placement. The pink pin-stripes of the button down bring out the black bold lines of the jacket. Really spice things up in the office to get work done and look fabulous too!

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Ooooo couture! With a delightful mix of formal and sassy, this ensemble really caught my eye. It’s like bringing whimsical to the office in a refined way. I could easily see this in a managerial office or a ball dance floor. The lines were very good and I was very impressed with the bold choice in light pink. A great look for summer.

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Last but not least, they showed their special runway talent displaying the new and chic rain jacket. Ready for monsoons, the iridescent fabric brings out this summer attitude but still keeps you fashionably dry! The cut arm sleeves are great for keeping it cool and the outfit looks like it was aimed with comfort in mind. Definitely my favorite from the show.

I was very impressed with the quality of this show and will absolutely attend again if they are ever in town. I hope you enjoyed this review of fashion! I apologize for late posting and will embrace the punishment! I also look forward to seeing you soon Chelsea Mow!! I’m ready to go have fun with you.