Dear Lady Mobley of the Wistful Wombats,
Many people do not know the makings of our first conversation, I think it is important that they know, so it went a little like this:
Me: Hello! I’m Chelsea!
Maryanne: I’m Maryanne! Can I look in your purse?
Naturally I obliged, as to not show fear. Maryanne then went through my purse which is better described as a wasteland for all of my crap. I tried to keep a straight face as to not show immense embarrassment for the weird nature of my purse contents. At that point in time the most memorable item was a metal fork.
My goal for this sort of challenge or blog or whatever is to keep it real. At the end of the day I am a five year old boy and the closest I will come to batman’s utility belt is my purse. Lately I have tried to be more of a person and get my shit together for grad school and such so here is my very honest attempt to being a person.
First Thing First
Here is the purse. It is brown and gold and I like it. It was a birthday gift from my Grandma (The live one). It is different and frankly I have no idea what brand it is and I have no idea where to even look. It doesn’t really have any pockets so it serves as a black hole for all of my portable belongings.
Logically my wallet resides inside of the black hole. It has been the most durable wallet I have ever owned. It is easy to clean and fits all my crap I do and dont need. It is a Harvey’s wallet and was a gift from my mom. It is two years old and I won’t need a replacement for a long time. As you can see my wallet is cluttered like the rest of my life and really is separated into three areas. The left: which contains important things, The right: which includes important things as well as useless things, The middle: which to ordinary people would be referred to as the coin pouch, mine however never sees any coins due to laziness. The reason this pouch is mentioned is that every once in a while I forget how to person and put my debit card in there. I proceed to panic until I start thinking like a moron in order to retrace my steps. Here is what it looks like.
The next item is also another gift from my mom. It is a little pouch that is essentially a real woman’s emergency kit. There are things from band aids to a little deodorant wipe for those times you forget how to person (guilty as charged). There is a little thing of mouth wash, dental floss, and even a make up remover toilette. It is compact and pretty cute. Well here is a picture! ( sorry the first one is upside down. I have a bad case of the dumbs and cant fix it)
Now comes the fun part! All of the random stuff that pooled at the bottom of the black hole. Most of this stuff is pretty self explanatory. I have a movie stub from march (Still Alice, a great movie if you want to be depressed), A half open piece of spearmint gum that will never be eaten. Burt’s Bees chapstick, One of the 14 nickels in my purse (yes 14), An off brand version of claritin. A pocket knife (see i’m batman), A lighter ( just in case someone asks for one), flashlight (flower power model), A wadded up receipt of undecipherable origin, a small toothpaste for sensitive teeth, tampon, and a multivitamin.
Moving on to the picture on the right: We have a handfull of spearmint life savers, my planner with checkbook shoved inside, a blonde hair tie, dental floss, hand sanitizer, a miniature of Jake the Dog from adventure time, A pen ( La Verne Represent), A hoard of random cards that have no use, and an old cellphone that is also a very reliable paper weight.
Well that’s what is in my purse! It is scary. But that is me trying to be a person! This is my request for your next post! Due the same Mern!
Forever and Ever, Life is a disaster,