Well Ms. Maryanne Mow, First I must respond to your paraphrased question that you thought I had raised. Although it was no where close, I will oblige. What element do I seek to control?
I am always drawn to stone, or earth or whatever it is you call it. It is comfort, power, strength, and steadfastness. I often get pegged as someone who would want to master fire. I understand it and that exists within me, because of the ambition and the ferocity of it, I see how it matches me but at my heart I am earth. Everything I do is to fortify myself as person and my surrounding. The problem with fire is that I seek control, and fire does it’s own bidding and requires some elasticity, which I regrettably do not possess. (I apologize for my broken grammar, my brain has is goo.) There is power in al things but the earth is what I would wish to be part of and understand. I feel that it is an underated element, but it is one with which I align.
This week has been a trip, a roller coaster, and an adventure. I have been all over the place, been up and down, and have had unforeseen experiences. I have arrived at the steep incline of the semester and my stone aspects are being tested as the other elements try to wear away at me. I let them shape me but not wear me down to nothing, I’m hoping that something beautiful will happen, and I will turn into a grand canyon of a person without feeling like too much of the old me is missing. Midterms approach and I travel on, I will do my due diligence and hope for the best. It never feels like enough, ever, but that has been my driving force since birth, and Never Enough is the strongest motivator. I apologize for slipping in and out of metaphor but I finished an obnoxious amount of homework a little while ago and my brain is in limbo between functioning and breaking. Although my studies are a constant struggle, socially I have grown almost immeasurably.
I made a goal this week to be more warm and approachable and I succeeded while simultaneously exceeding my expectations. All I did was smile more and people ate me up. I let the warmth in me be at my surface and I was received well by almost everyone. I just didn’t know that getting people to like you was this easy. It also helps that I am genuinely happy to be at school, because school is a gift when you love what you are doing. And I love it. Every grueling assignment I am thankful for having done. To be filled with gratitude is amazing, and it is hard to righteous when you have been given the gift of immersing yourself into your passion. I am honestly the best version of myself, and its nuts. The voice inside me that always wishes for me is running out of things to wish for and it is quite a blessing. So while I don’t get good sleep and I am constantly stressed I am not unhappy, really quite the opposite.
I was happy to hear about you and your car! That is an amazing accomplishment. I hope you vroom vroom on out here! During school is too stressful but soon. Very soon. If Chris is still around we are planning on going to Arizona in December after my school gets out. Hopefully I will see you then for certain! I do not have a lot of energy to post much more but I will give you some random pictures. I am going to type out the words first and then look for them. So here we go:
- Spinach Cat
- Old Man Grapfruit
- Happy Ladel
- Sandwich Lady
- Grandpa Squirrel
- Fat Skittles
- Lumpy House
- Angry Gerbil Pie
- Turtle Teacher Tricks
- Grumpy Chedda