How to Make Friends at Work

Dear Chelso,

I hope you’ve had some time to regain strength at this point. I know that was a terrible week for you. Also, congratulations on being home owners!!! That’s amazing and I’m so happy for you.

Working in a new place has been hard to make new connections. The workplace provides a bland platform in which people can hide behind their professionalism. I have tried my best these last two weeks to blast past these set social standards and have found some headway. Here I have outlined a guide on How to Make Friends at Work:

  1. Try to make conversation while someone is trying to quickly finish getting their water or coffee. Continue to trap them with questions after they have gotten their beverage while you try to fill your own cup. If it looks like they’re trying to walk off, ask them more questions. They’re only trying to walk away because you do not look eager enough.
  2. If they have headphones in, talk to them and make gestures until they take one out of their ear and acknowledge you.
  3. Talk about meaningless stuff like the weather and expect people to be engaged on the topic.
  4. Discuss at length about your child and/or pet. Spend long periods of time looking for a picture of your beloved creature to show them. In fact, show them several pictures, they are sure to care a lot.
  5. . Comment to someone in the hallway about how their clothing choice must indicate ____ about who they are as a person. People love having to explain their choice of clothes. They also love being put on the spot.
  6. In the elevator, talk about how shaky and terrifying the elevator experience is. Being scared of elevators is not common.

I hope this list will provide a good idea on how to handle the average social interaction at work. It really charms people and they will discover your fabulous personality through the process. I’ve also been keen on making a How-To post since you posted “The Bloggiest Blog That Ever Bloggity Blogged.”Once again, congratulations on the home!! It’s going to be a journey, but once you’re on the other side it will be worth it!

Warmest Hot Steamy Regards,

Mary-Mow

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