Things That I Had Feelings About

Dearest Chelso Mow,

I loved your post so much, and was genuinely enlightened at the list of words we only use the inverse of. Please please please provide the entire list eventually. Your post brought me much joy to my day. I hope you are doing well, my week has been an odd battle of my mentors deciding how I should do my work because I am getting situations that are breaking the very rules that our work sits on. Also my cat literally left poop on everything today and the lady that is in charge of my apartment complex came to inspect our apartment while everything was covered in cat poops. Somehow the world keeps turning.

This post I decided to once again to draw inspiration from “The Bloggiest Blog That Ever Bloggity Blogged” and review physical products that I feel like reviewing. Let us begin.

Item: Detox Patch || Feeling: Okay at Best

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The whole point behind these patches are to help detox through the bottom of your feet over night. I bought them on a whim since I enjoy the idea of detoxing and sometimes flirt with the idea of becoming a healthy human. They smell like a campfire pit, but honestly I felt pretty awesome in the morning after I used them. When you place them on at night they are crisp and white. But upon peeling it off in the morning, the pads look slimy and brown. Maybe it was placebo or maybe there was something to it (despite finding a few sites that said it was all a chemical reaction), but I felt energetic and clear-headed for the day. Drawbacks? These little shits practically tattoo the campfire pit smell into your skin. Its in the socks and your feet. You think a little wash will help anything? WRONG. Try washing desperately five times with no results. Thank god I tried these on for the first time in a hotel room, otherwise my apartment would be the one to reek of charcoal for all eternity. I had to bleach my socks I wore that trip to get the smell out. Conclusion, the patches may or may not slightly help your physical state; however, they will make everything smell like a campfire forever.

Item: Hello toothpaste || Feeling: Looks Nice

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This was a whimsical purchase where I had determined that a regular toothpaste was not appealing enough visually and that I needed a prettier toothpaste to stare at every day in my bathroom. My parents have always been into organic and natural, so the stevia for flavor and “natural” ingredients in the advertising drew me in. The flavor is a lot like a tic tac and is overall an alright product. I don’t feel like I’m getting the full blast of cleaning that any average toothpaste would provide me, but it does the job and has the consistency of lotion. I enjoy it, but I’m not sure if I will pursue this product the next time I am in the market for toothpaste. They had an option of one without flouride, but figured that would be closer to a renaissance feeling of merely using some twigs and chalk to clean my teeth.

Item: Matcha Tohato Caramel Corn || Feeling: Fear and Love

This item I bought with you Chelso Mow last time I visited. I tell you though, it took me on a wild ride of emotions. I was already having a roll down the hill of food shame that day (two desserts kind of day) and was not quite done with eating when I grabbed this bag I found at the back of my cupboard. I chomp on some and discover that this is so incredibly delicious! I never figured that green tea and caramel corn could be a lovely marriage of flavors, but it absolutely can as it turns out. Then I look on the back to see what I’m getting into here after eating almost the entire bag, and nearly have a heart attack after looking at the amount of servings in the bag. If you can see in the above picture, it says 1.9 servings. However, at first glance it looked like 19. I almost crapped myself at the idea of eating 3,110.3 calories in one little bag of delicious corn puffs. Peeling back the label reveals that the entire back is 316.5 calories and not the terrible amount I had started to imagine.

Item: Olay facewash and facewash applicator thing || Feeling: Weird

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Now why would this item be found in the clearance isle? I haven’t the faintest idea but I was convinced that this would be worth my time. The process is to put the goo on the applicator and turn the applicator onto vibrate and then put it on your face. I did this and it’s an awkward process. The next morning I promptly had two extra pimples on my face. Perhaps I didn’t use a toner on my skin afterwards or perhaps this product is just not for my skin type, but it did not work out for me.

I hope you enjoyed my reviews. I don’t know why I have any of these products but I had a fun time judging them. Please share more stories and Go Pro pictures!

–Maryanne Mow

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