Where in the World is Chelso

Hello Ms. Mow,

I have about a half hour to kill so i figure I would post.

My week has been busy, travelling and what not, but I will do my best to provide you with a wee bit of entertainment.

I am writing at a Starbucks, that has a password… don’t tell anyone but the password is “starbucks”. Tricksters. So I figured this post would just be mainly about the dumb thoughts I’ve had lately. The kind that trickle in, and go away before ever getting shared.

There are a lot of words that we use the opposite of, but not the root word:

Conspicuous

Evitable

Veinous

I have about twenty of them, but I can’t find my notebook where I wrote them down. So there is three for now.

Another conundrum I had this week: 

Does it make me immature or old, that I considered buying vans for 45 minutes because I like the idea of a shoe i don’t have to tie

Burning Life Questions:

Why do my finger nails on my ring finger grow so long suddenly over night?

Things Worth Buying: 

This is just a small list of things that I think I worth purchasing when a product is needed.

Need a camera? 

Get a Gopro.

I bought one for my trip, and although pricey I have had so much fun with it. I plan to make all sorts of weird videos and awesome pictures. The quality is rad as fuck, and its Chelsea-proof. I don’t think I could destory it unless I tried. There’s something magical about that.

Need a heat protection spray for your hair?

Get Tresemme Heat Protector

They sell it at target and it is the best one I’ve used by far. I’ve tried a lot of these over the years, and my hair doesnt like most of them. It gets filmy, or frizzes really bad after a couple of hours. My hair is super straight and its been three days. My hair normally doesn’t stay straight for more than a night.

At Starbucks? 

Get the Cascara Latte.

It is delicious, and is naturally sweet. it doesn’t have a lot of calories especailly if you get with anything aside from whole milk.

Now time for two random anecdotes: 

When I was on the plane, some weird guy, after doing the awkward “in my way dance” decided to flirt with me instead of letting me into the bathroom. Nothing is more unappealing to taken person that a weird guy on a plane hitting on her instead of letting her pee.

When I was riding the subway, I had a crazy lady with glitter on her eyelids yell at me in a different langauge while shaking a pearl bracelet. She was yelling something to the effect of “cookie choco cookie cookie choco” while pointing up.

I really wanted more for you, and I will have plenty when i am back safe and sound in the states, but here you go!

Remember that you are a mighty mow, that can defeat anything that stands in her way! 

– ChelsMow

Google Search: Travel Cow

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7 Days of Deadly Sins

Maryanne,
Today I decided that I needed to start working out again. I tend to decide this every week, and epically fail. Life is hard and busy, and I unfortunately can not convince my body to give me a break just this one semester. So, I have created what I am going to call 7 days of deadly sins.

I am going to confess all the things I have eaten(or not eaten) and all the times that I worked out (or sat on my ass).
Confession, and food diaries have always scared me. I usually end up omitting the part of the day where I open the cupboard and start eating anything I can reach until   I find something I actually wanted to eat.

I can not lie to you Maryanne like I lie to myself, so I thought a threat of embarrassment will keep me honest.
I encourage you to join.

However, you do not have to treat it as a health thing, you can totally brag about watching Netflix and eating bags of gluten free trail mix. I would love to read it. I am not sure if I am going to post every day, or at the end, but get ready.

Like most diets, the gods hear that you are trying to quit sweets so it starts raining free donuts from the sky. Best of Luck to you. Or not.

Here is what happened when I typed in bad habits:

2 Truths and a Chelso

Earlier this week, my fellow mow sent me this list of Truths to Answer. I apologize if they were not as in depth as you have hoped but I am super tired and have developed a bad habit for being deliberate. Thank you School. Although, admittedly, aereodynamically, astrological, alphabetically speaking, I am totally having a mild procrastination attack.

Chelso Truth or Dare Truths:

Is there a celebrity you’d break off your current relationship for? Who is it?
    I would most definitely end my relationship for Chris Pratt. I could explain but I know I don’t need to.
Share your most embarrassing guilty pleasure.
My most embarrassing guilty pleasure is the shows I watch. I love trashy tv, my favorite guilty pleasure shows are Total Divas and Pretty Little Liars and of course Say Yes to the Dress
I would never ____.
        Drink and Drive
What do you wish you knew when you were younger?
        That it is totally ok for things not to go as planned, and that there is a possibilityy where things could turn out so much better than you planned for.
What’s under your bed right now?
       A box of beanie babies and a keyboard
What picture on your phone makes you the most happy?
     The picture of my fellow Mow in a hot dog suit holding a hotdog.
What’s your favorite drink?
        Coffee. A cappucino to be exact.
Have you ever deleted a status or pic because it didn’t get enough Likes? What was it about?
     I have actually and it was something passive aggressive that was directed at someone but then I felt stupid because there was a typo in it, so I took it down in shame.
    I also delted someone else post on my wall because I thought they were calling me fat but they were just saying I had a really cool personality that would make a fat person cool… It was mean but not mean to me… I guess?
What are your favorite smells?
        Peppermint, Pumpkin Pie, and Downey Fabric Softener
Fill in the blank: If I could kiss anyone right now, it would be ____.
       Chris Pratt, still thinking about him. Don’t Judge Me.
What one thing would you like to change about the world?
        People wouldn’t be able to fake smile.It is deciving and creepy plus I already can’t, I look like a electrocuted ventriuiliquist doll when I try to smile for pictures. So I feel like everyone should look as hideous as me.
What is at the top of your bucket list?
       Get my tattoo. If I make it through this semester I deserve one.
What were you doing the first time you got goose bumps?
        The first time I can remember was running around in the sprinklers during a summer night and eventually the temperature dropped.
What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken?
        The biggest risk I have ever taken is believing that the career I decided for myself when I was 15, is the right one. It has only brought me good things thus far.

So I apologize that that was probably not the epicness that you expected but I will plan in something this week that allows for me to do something worth posting!  But because it makes you happy and gives my brain an outlet I will include some random pictures from the internet. (This is when I type the first thought in my head into google images)

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Actual Life Hacks (that aren’t just dumb ways of doing things)

     Chelsea Attempts to Educate

Featured image

Too many life hack blogs are about dumb DIY projects that ultimately make you look like your parents just sent you to camp and they ran out of uncooked macaroni. Here are just some things I have learned throughout the years. I am often branded a know it all but I promise I did not come up with these things myself. I have simply just stored in my memory all the things anyone has ever told me is important. These things range from tangible to emotional, I hope they are of service to some. I figured this topic would be interesting for you my fellow mow, since it has popped up on the podcast list more than once!
1. Always wash your face more than once. My dermatologist once told me that the first      wash is to get all the gunk clogging your pores but the second wash cleans out all the stuff inside of your little tiny face holes.

2. To save tupperware from unsightly stains spray them with cooking spray first. Courtesy of my step-dad

3. If you can count your good friends on one hand you are doing better than most. Courtesy of my mom

4. Moving sucks, and on one will ever help you unless you have already helped them. Courtesy of my dad

5. Never say  “that was my fault” at the scene of an accident. Courtesy of Wawanessa Insurance

6. If your only reason for not doing something is because of how other people would react, you do not have a good reason. Personal experience

7. If you stink up a bathroom at a party fill the toilet with hand soap or shampoo if its available, it works magic. If you are increasingly desperate run the sink with warm water and do the same thing. Regrettably Personal experience

8. If you are extra stinky or want to keep smelling nice all day long put lotion on your hair. I have found that the lotion scent lingers longer than perfume.

9. To avoid cavities take your tooth brush and and dip it in mouthwash after your normal brush, this allows for the antiseptic to rub into those crevices. Also don’t drink anything for 30 minutes after. Courtesy of my Dental Hygenist

10. Going Camping? Bring baby wipes. It is also a useful way to take a quick bird bath in the wilderness.
11. If you have thin/short nails put neosporin on your cuticle line, it is magic. Courtesy of a Family Friend

12. Need to save money? Tithe to yourself, take 10% out of every paycheck and put it into your savings. Also a great way to be a millionaire before you retire. Courtesy of a youth conference from when I was 15.

13. Always clarify to your friends if you want advice or if you want to vent. It saves a lot of time and frustration.

14. Keep an old phone in your glove box. Even unactivated phones can call 911.

15. Leg cramps after working out? A lot of time tis can be from an ineffective cool down, make sure to take at least five minutes of light walking followed by stretching after a work out.

16. 3500 calories in one pound. Simply an important thing to know for us trying to lose weight.

17. Always have tissues. Always. Courtesy of the other mow, Ms. Mern

19. Never ask a question you do not want to know the answer to.  Constantly said by my dad

20. Antibiotics have an experiation date. Some can be toxic after they have expired. Courtesy of my nurse friend

21. Only use web md. if you want to scare yourself.

I feel like 21 is a good number to end on! I hope you enjoyed this even if it was repetitive! That is all from this mow this week! Any additions? Comment!