Dear Chelso Mow

There is a homeless guy that perches by my work that I go an entire block to walk around because he wails loudly: “CAN ANYBODY HELP ME? WILL ANYBODY HELP MEEE??” He chases you with his paper cup desperately and demands for help at the top of his lungs. I honestly feel for him, homelessness does not appear to be a cake-walk. However, his tactics alarm me and I steer clear of him every day for the last two and a half months.

On that note, I was listening to a podcast today and in it they were talking about how a well-known author I did not very well known made a list of things someone can do to brighten someone else’s day. This is very productive and very positive and I appreciate the idea. I do feel like as the world needs more trolls, I would like to make a list of things that could slightly ruin someone’s day.

How to Slightly Dampen Someone’s Day:

  1. Cut them off in traffic and not think twice about it.
  2. Start a conversation with the cash register person when there’s a long line of people behind you.
  3. Leave your dirty dishes next to the sink for them to clean up. Don’t offer to help.
  4. Park like a madman and get a thrill at the idea that someone will try to park next to your park-job. Then leave after them so they look like the crazy person who started the parking nightmare.
  5. Do not even motion to stop the elevator doors from closing when a person is approaching to get in. Make sure to include some awkward eye contact.
  6. Find something about someone. Tell someone that you like how they have done it that day. Make it clear that you like it far more than any other day they’ve done it ever.
  7. Ask someone a question about themselves and then immediately do something else when they try to answer it. You don’t have time for that shit.
  8. Glue pennies to the ground faced heads up.
  9. Try to start conversations in the bathroom with people you don’t know very well.
  10. Start a sentence with: “Not to be offensive or anything, but…”
  11. Argue with someone in great detail when they are attempting to do something nice for you.
  12. Walk really slowly in a walk-way or isle.
  13. Walk really slowly across the street at a light or cross-walk.
  14. Put someone on the spot to pay for your meal. Maybe even promise to pay them back if you have a reputation of never paying people back.
  15. Hold the door open for someone when they are a decent distance away.

Chelso, I hope you like my list. I miss you but I won’t for much longer! I am excited to see you soon!

Much and many plentiful abundance of regards,

Maryanne

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This has absolutely nothing to do with cows

I apologize, I have given you so much grief yet I am a little late. But I have been crazy busy with silly assignments and law school things. Here are some big things that have happened this week:

  • Booked my trip to see Chris over Memorial Day
  • Am officially the Historian in my student government
  • I was asked to be a student ambassador for my University
  • Was offered an internship with the D.A.’s office
  • Got a 3.1 on my property midterm (which is a law school gold)
  • Wrote an additional 2,000 words of Watercress
  • Finally was able to find happiness and peace when it comes to a being a military s.o
  • Validated my psychic gift
  • Reached out to a friend’s passed great grandmother

So at least I have been accomplishing things. I haven’t been able to really do silly things so I am anxiously awaiting your arrival.  I have a couple of major assignments to get through but then you are here. So Stoked.

I also found out that I am going against the person who gave me that unspeakable nickname for my oral argument, I intend to slay.

I wish I had something funny or quirky to give you, but this week has been fairly intense. The planets must be treating me well.

Ooooh I was able to diagnose a person’s star sign with only knowing the following things about her.:

  • A bisexual scorpio man is hung up on her
  • She is mean to everyone
  • She is short

I’ll give you a second to make your own guess.

How about a multiple choice?

A. Aries

B. Libra

C. Cancer

D. Capricorn

I tried to pick options that you have some prejudice against of some sort, or haven’t cared to learn too much about them.

I think I was able to get it because I know how a scorpio male would see that type of female, which is why if you guessed C, you were correct.

I hope the multiple choice at least made this post interesting, or perhaps interactive.

Right Now, I’m swiveling in a chair in class 100% not paying attention. I should probably remedy that. See you later Mow! No creepy pictures today because I am writing in class and I don’t want people to judge me, for my weird google searches.

Love you forever and ever and ever, till all the pictures in the sky go dark.

 

ChellzyMow

Another Week Another World Another Title that has nothing to do with what I’m going to write about

Dearest Maryanne Mow,

Unknown

I loved your post and I can’t help but notice that you were driving west on the 40, which means your subconscious was reaching out to me. I understand the sort of grieving that occurs with an old car. It really is a way to measure units of time. I will never feel as youthful in my new car as I did in the volvo or even my previous subaru. It is an odd sensation when an object manages to keep memories at the forefront of your mind despite everything around you. You will think fondly of your car but new memories await, and a new future is ahead, with new memories waiting to be formed.

I am posting early so not much as happened this week, since I posted I couple days ago. Although I have been eating poorly, and not been working out as much and am terrified to gain any weight. I let myself get stressed and I have let myself feed the stress monster to keep it quiet but I am going to go to the gym and stab the monster instead. I am still recovering from my cold but it has mostly faded into allergies.

I haven’t looked at the planets lately but I think something shifted this week. I have felt more pensive and a little more dark than I had anticipated.

Speaking of planets some of my school friends have been calling me a gypsey because of my astrological habits. I let the leo out of the bag, if you catch my drift, and now they make fun of me, however I guessed both of their signs so the joke is on them. The one I missed was a girl I had barely talked too, and they were pressuring me to guess, I diagnosed her as a capricorn in a panic but alas she was a Libra. Everyone at my school is a Libra. Life is a Joke.

I also did the math and I realized that every week, I easily type 15,000 words a week for homework. I thought that number was kind of insane. I have been killing so many trees. So much paper. I am too lazy to double side it all too.

I do my best to stay ahead in class and I have finished some assignments I ordinarily don’t do until Friday because Chris and I are going to San Diego on Saturday for our anniversary. I am not sure what we will do but I am doing my best to do all my work so I can actually allow myself to have a good time. I have no idea what we will actually end up doing, but a little adventure in my life shouldn’t kill me.

Currently one of my social problems is that I am afraid that being smiley will make people think I am stupid. I don’t have an evidence as to why this might occur but I guess it is the reason I haven’t spent my life smiling at people.

Also I had my first dose of why people at my school might not be as great as I used to think. I mean I guess I forgot that they were people who talk and are petty. Side note. wordpress just deleted a paragraph for no reason, so I’m mad and it interrupted my story. Anyway one of the males told me that he was talking to the other males, and they are convinced some random girl in our class has fake boobs. I don’t particularly like this girl but I found myself offended on her behalf. I normally don’t get bent by this sort of thing but I was a little horrified. There are so many other things to pick at when it comes to this girl but the men want to know whats attached to her chest cavity. Like I get it, but at the same time I don’t. I don’t think her boobs are ridiculous but she is extremely petite and have boobs that may not be proportionate but I don’t let that occupy my thoughts. I don’t know I was just disgusted at men for a moment which is very unlike me. I guess in this man’s world I have to stick up for my fellow lady.

sorry this wasn’t very exciting but I wasn’t feeling very vivacious. Next week I will try to do something zany.

Much Love from a Huggin Thug ****************************