Chelso Reviews

Hi Maryanne!

I always enjoy the posts where we review products or various things. I decided to do one. Because it could be a post with some actual point (which is rarity for me).

Hair Lightening Products. 

Lately I have been considering lightening my hair. My current color is to dark and my hair is too stressed and damage to handle lightening, so I’ve been using products that are supposedly easy on the hair. Now, I have color treated hair so it is not as effective but here are two solutions I tried.

John Frieda Hair Lightening Product 

I got it in the clearance section of Target. Now all of these products say not to use images.jpegon color treated hair, but I’m not trying to look blonde blonde as much as just lighter. My hair is jacked up so I wasn’t too concerned.  The product itself was effective. Since my hair is long it only lasted about 3-6 treatments. My hair did lighten and it didn’t seem to damage my hair anymore than it already is. However, the smell was really gross. It didn’t smell like chemicals or clean but like dirty mop water.

How It Works: After you wash your hair you spray it all over and style as usual. So the smell would kind of get baked in.

If it mixed it with other products you couldn’t smell it but it wasn’t my favorite. Eventually I got used to it and it maybe lightened my hair two shades.( I should change lightened to altered) Despite the smell I would do it again if it were on sale.

Apple Cider Vinegar: As part of my hair lightening adventure I decided to seek out a more “natural” approach to hair lightening after my stinky spray ran out. It was also supposed to double as a conditioner and shine treatment.

How It Works: You make sure your hair is wet and then you put one tablespoon of Vinegar with One cup of Water. You mix it in a spray bottle and spray liberally. It was unclear if I was supposed to use all of it, so I took the Maryanne approach and used all of it. It took a long time to spray on. I ended up putting more vinegar then they said. Then you are supposed to let it soak for 30 minutes and wash it out.

What Happened: I ended up combing it as I went along which may have made it not soak into my hair very much. it did function as a dentangler and made my hair soft. It was not a permanent soft, and did not actually condition my hair as much as make it ok for a little while. I’m going to try it again. It may have made my hair slightly lighter but I’m not convinced.  Here is a picture of apple cider vinegar in case you don’t know what it looks like for some reason. Symmetry is important to me. Or not because WordPress hates me. I’m leaving this bit in because its silly.

Ulta Salon

I shared with you how I felt about Ulta. I felt like I was too frumpy to be there. However, I ended up there because my hair was desperate for a deep condition, and I was too embarrassed to go to my hair dresser after playing science experiment with my hair. I also was not ready for a haircut and didn’t want to get yelled at by her. So I decided to go to Ulta because it was regionally close to me. The girl was actually really sweet, and she did a good job handling my hair and took her time. I got compliments on it all day, and if you go in the morning it is literally a ghost town. The prices were kind of high, but not really in comparison to what I am used to paying. For a style and deep conditioning treatment it was 48 dollars. It took her two hours, but she did a beautiful job. Would recommend.  None of my pictures are working. Kill me. So I will describe it vividly where the picture should be.

*There is a row of chairs in a white salon. Could literally be anywhere. I felt like I needed a picture. The chairs are black.

Ordering Clothes Off Amazon: 

I recently needed a dress for a concert I want to go to. I wanted a white one with sleeves to cover my arm chub. I hate cap sleeves and I didn’t want to shop so I thought I would try amazon. I found a darling dress for 30 bucks that fit perfectly. The reviews were trustworthy on sizing which was impressive because most clothing cites haven’t figured that one out. I did predict the dress to be more sheer than advertise so i bought a slip. It worked out great.

*here is a picture of the dress and amazon logo. My efforts are not being shown. It’s white, has a zipper and lace. It’s really cute and I am angry you can’t see it.


Well I think good things come in threes so I will stop there. (I know it’s technically four but whatever). It was not an exciting post but my life is not exciting. I hope you found this useful. It’s ok if you didn’t, I wont cry.

May you have a week filled with blessings, sprinkles, and gluten free shampoo.





DISCLAIMER* I am still working on my video. I’ve been living on a rock and don’t see people very often, but it is in the making. I promise. I’m at three now.


Questions of Peculiar Importance Meets Chelso Mow

I will answer your questions. That is All.


Would she rather go sky diving or scuba diving?

100% I would rather sky dive, assuming some weirdo is strapped to my back and will do all the heavy lifting for me. I hate the idea of being trapped under water or my lungs exploading if I move to fast. I don’t like the idea of not being able to run away from all the stuff in the ocean. I do not have a phobia of the ocean I just don’t like things with limited escape. Sky diving is over relatively quickly so even though I don’t really have a desire to jump out of plane, I’d pick that one.

If she could have one more gluten meal without any consequence, what would it be?(my last gluten meal) 

I would eat loaves and loaves of fresh baked breads followed by brownies and then more bread. I would miss fresh bread the most. The other stuff I can substitute for other things but fresh baked bread is too important to me to not give a proper good bye.

Is she modern or classic?

This one I don’t have an immediate answer to. I’m too aggressive to be classic but I’m not progressive enough to be modern. I do at times like sleek furniture and often find peace in hotel rooms with this attire but classic can be comfortable. When I think of “modern” and “classic” as it pertains to women, I think of “classic” being a housewife and “modern” being a woman who has a job and doesn’t want children right away. However Classic also tends to go with “classy and respectable” which is important to me but only as far the work place and mutual respect. I am honestly somewhere in between. But if I go off of what I think of then I would say more modern.

Does she like to stay in to watch movies, or go out?

Go out for movies 100%. It is my one true escape in life. It is my biggest hobby and one that I love sharing with people I care about. I have too short of an attention span to watch movies at home. I pause them or end up playing on my phone.

Would she rather feel like she’s constantly about to sneeze for an entire year, or constantly feel like she had an eyelash in her eye for an entire year if she had to have one or the other.

I will take the sneezing because at least when I actually sneeze I will get a moment of relief, and I hate having to squint. I would gouge my eye out.

Now I will raise you five more questions with my own answers.

Are you usually late, right on time, or early?

I am almost always early. I prefer to be there ahead of the game because it takes away the general anxiety that comes with being a person.

What three things do you find the most beautiful?

I would have to say I find the moment when you discover something that may have just been made for you. Sometimes there are those moments where you feel connected to something instantly. For me it was the moment Chris showed me Bookmans in Flagstaff. It had been closed for over a year and I didn’t even know what a Bookmans was. We happened to stumble upon Bookmans on my last day in town before Winter break which happened to be its re grand opening. It was snowing so we ran through the parking lot, smiling through the cold, and when I walked in the entire store was bustling. Filled to the brim with the most unique people I had ever seen. I found my way to the used book section and found a copy of East of Eden from the year I was born. That was the first Christmas present Chris ever gave me. I find moments like that beautiful. Nothing spectacualry beautiful about it but that memory is still rich with awe and did not become jaded when I became a regular there. That memory is pure.

I am also a sucker for the California Coast Line. Particularly up north. I love seeing the redwoods next to the ocean. The cliffs and jagged rocks just do it for me.

Finally, I love a moonless sky in a lightless city. I love seeing all the stars to the point where you can’t see any constellations because the sky is too polluted with stars to follow any patterns.

What is your favorite part of the Human face and why?

I think I would have to say mouths are my favorite. People like eyes, and I like eyes too, but I find that a lot of expression comes from the mouth and how someone reacts to their mouth.  I think it is a good indicator of personality.

What do you think would be the hardest for you to give up?

Coffee. Coffee is love and Coffee is life. It makes me happy and comforts me and quells my sweet cravings when they get out of control. I would be 60% less of who I was if I didn’t have coffee.

What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

The last thing I drew a picture of was a man that resembled a mango.

So those are my questions that I hope to see in your next post!

Also I would like you to admit responsibility for those cinnamon rolls. I told you not to put that much butter on them but you didn’t listen YOU didn’t listen. Those are on you and Paula Deen’s Conscious, Mow.

But wait there’s more! I didn’t feel like doing random pictures this week, but I typed in “cranky catipillar sandwich” for the featured image.

A Brief History of Chelsea’s Hair

There are very few people who are as interested in my hair as “Mern”, no one else has ever told me that they wanted to collect my hair and make a blanket out of it, so I make this post for you because I listen to my fans. I have spent quite a bit of time collecting photo evidence and I hope you appreciate the very complicated history that is behind my locks.

0 to 1.5 years: Bald very very bald. Abnormally bald, I was basically Mr. Clean

IMG_0351 IMG_0353

1.5 to 3 years: Blonde Blonde Blonde and curly very curly, I was basically an angel 


4 to 6 years: Less Blonde More Bangs, there was also a high amount of srunchis


A Brief Warning: For the next 11 years it becomes scarier and scarier

7 to 9 years old: Middle part. Even worse the time while I was growing it out.. Luckily I don’t have to many pictures. The accessories were what was most frightening from butterfly clips to head scarves, and zig zag scarves, not to mention french braids, this was the beginning of the decent.


10 to 12 years old: My hair was a weird lengths with varying parts, with occasional braids and general neglect. The beginning of puberty which meant neglecting my hair and being too cool to care. Also the occasional stereotypical lesbian styling and sloppy pony tails.I also enjoyed pulling two strands of hair out of my pony tail as pseudobangs


13 to 15 years old : I got a razor cut during the height of my emo faze and it only made my hair frizzier and out of control. I also introduced bows and ribbon into my accessories in order to look like my maple story character. It was a dark time. By this point my middle part was dead which is the only highlight I assure you.

13 15 1315

16 to 17 years old : I grew out my hair and most of my heinous razor cut however the frizz remains also my natural hair color changed constantly. For a brief moment in time I had straight across bangs


18 years old: My hair finally stopped being frizzy and I started styling it regularly and looking like a person, I also had short bangs at this time but very much side swept.


19 years old: I cut my hair short above the shoulders and have been growing it out ever since. I did it because chris told me he liked short hair, then I decided I didn’t care what he liked and have not given in since. 


20 years old: I colored my hair dark red/brown for the first time, which was basically black. 


20 to 22 years old: Lightened my hair in different intervals


Current: A very lovely chocolate brown. Natural on the left, straightened on the right


My Current Daily Regiment

I thought it would be fun to talk about a day in the life of my hair as of today. I take a “beauty supplement” to help with over all daily health, which is really code for “they make it in gummy form and I like candy”.  I do not by any means wash my hair every day or even close. My hair has been super dry lately so I barely wash it and the number of times per week I wash it would horrify you because it is so vastly small, and I would hate for people to think I am dirty. My hair is dry like super dry so back off. I use “Dry Remedy” by Aveda  to help with this problem and I also am a proud owner of a “Wet Brush” in order to limit breakage. 

I wad up my hair in buns most of the time but probably wear it down at least 3 times a week. I never use a blow dryer unless I am in a hurry. Due to my dryness I don’t like to add extra heat damage so I wash it the day before to let it air dry. Due to the thickness of my hair it takes a whole day to completely dry naturally. Once it is dry and in its normal weird wavy state I straighten it. I have used a “Chi” for years and have not been dissapointed. I am one of those people that goe for the slow drag with the iron, since I think multiple runs through is worse for your hair due to constant contact with the heat. I’ve found the multiple runs causes more breakage. 

I am by no means saying I have the best hair, like at all, but it is thick and usually looks okay so yep. Living with thick hair is a pain. People tell me how lucky I am but they have never overwhelmed a stylist or had to sit in a chair for 4+ hours for a cut, color, and style. When I get a hair cut it is literally a weight being lifted off my shoulders. I hope you enjoyed this post, I got very mechanical with it but oddly enough I highly enjoyed writing it.

These aren’t the worst photos of me but they aren’t the best. The photos were locked away probably due to harming people so this is what you get!