Not the Mow We Want, but the Mow We NEED

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Dear Chelso,

There was a lady with this bomb-ass beard bag. But even better, she brought her two cats on the train this past Monday. As you can kind of make out, she is just cuddling that kitten and cradling it in her arms. At some point though she apparently needs to do something – so she just plops the kitten down on top of the sleepy orange cat there – and they just curl up into each other and continue to nap on this loud and crowded train.

I’ve only been riding this train for about two months now, and I’ve seen and experienced so many strange things. Today, my coworker and I stared at this fully furnished wheelchair sitting in the isle for most of the trip home. It had a dirty pink cushion and a pint of opened Sprite all propped up on it. Who walked away from their wheelchair? Did they lose it? Did a miracle occur? Did they wander off the train and now there’s someone somewhere trying to make their way back to this chair? Was someone trying to donate an extra chair to this crowded train? Is it a bomb in disguise? All of these questions were only partially answered when a man from a different seating area only accessible by stairs, wearing all camouflage, just as dirty as the pink cushion, grabbed the wheelchair and rolled it off with him.

After the man left with his wheelchair, I overheard a guy loudly complain that he’s 30 and therefore working for a living and that he was disgruntled with people were always mistaking him for a student. No one can recognize how old he is. The guy he was talking to was like, “just wait until you’re my age!” 30-yr-old says “50?”

“Oh! You flatter me I’m 58 this year.”

30-yr-old: “Well I mean it, it’s not like you’re a girl that I’m trying to take on a date.”

I hope you don’t mind me forcing these stories on you, but I am just somehow always more surprised and impressed than the time before. Look forward to your next creations!

Mow

Mow Years Resolutions

Dear Chelso Mow,

I loved your post on common courtesy and agree with all of your points. I had to catch myself as I started to turn around and stare at a person behind me in the line at the bank after they sneezed. My only assumption is that it is human nature to put a noise with the source as I realized how I may have been this type of savage for a long time now. However, I do understand how irksome it is to have someone stare at you after a sneeze without any form of “bless you” exchanged. So I have resolves to change this behavior.

In terms of resolutions, it is once again a new year and therefore a time to create new resolutions. I like to write them out every year and keep my lists (which I think go back to 2008??). It’s fun to compare priorities from then versus now and to see when things may have actually been achieved (I said I was going to save up for a car in 2008 and didn’t get one until 2010). Upon reviewing a past list or two – I have noticed that a couple lists say “get to 200 on Bop-It.” I have still only gotten to 186 on Bop-It, sorry 2008 and 2010 Maryanne. Once again, I rub soot in all of my dreams.

As for my 101 in 1001 days, that list will definitely remain incomplete as the due date for 1001 days is Oct 17th of 2017. I think I finished 20 or so items on that list (maybe??). It is prudent that I continue to make resolutions and lists of goals that I may or may never reach.

2017 Resolutions:

  • BE BETTER ABOUT POSTING

This one is first on the list and is very important. I hope to consider myself a reliable person by the end of this next year. Only time will tell.

  • Learn the ukulele

I have had my interest slightly peaked in terms of learning the ukulele ever since I saw you get the kit and self-learn this instrument. I have never learned any instrument of any kind (much to my father’s dismay) and have accepted that I never would. Out of the blue I have decided to take up this instrument in your name and also for the hope that I can learn something musically in some manner. 6 days into the new year and I have found a few cords, a lack of rhythm and sore fingers as my friend in this process.

  • Touch base with 120lbs

Every single one of my new years has a weight goal. If I have ever reached that weight goal – I never know when to actually check it off the list because I can’t tell when I have officially reached that weight. Is it when it’s been my weight for several weeks or do I need to hit it for several days in a row? I decided that if I even just hit it for one weigh-in  and then immediately gain weight I will have considered it a win. Really it’s fine if I never reach it but I like to keep up with traditions.

  • Get rid of box of boxes

I have a box filled with boxes after my last move and I don’t know how to utilize the remaining empty boxes but I haven’t the heart to throw them all away. I hope I get rid of it.

  • Complete KonMarie process

About a year and a half ago I started the KonMarie process of tidying up and getting rid of several of my belongings in hopes of conquering my lineage of hoarder mentality. I have completed many of the steps except for my kitchenware, nerd stuff, lecture materials and sentimental items. It would be cool if I could make it through those last areas but I’ll be more happy if I get rid of my box of boxes.

  • Complete an art piece

After my hand injury last year in September, I still have yet to get back to art. I have done a couple of doodles and I seem to be able to write again, but it would really mean the world to me if I can complete a real piece again.

  • Braces

I need them.

  • Save up emergency fund again

I like to keep a backup of 3 months worth of funds in my savings in case an emergency happens. Since the company I worked for fell apart while I was there – I have needed to use my backup savings. In case of anything like that happening again, I’d like to have a cushion to fall on so I don’t have to rely entirely on loved ones. As Taco says, a “boring” resolution. But I felt it was justified.

This year will not have a 5k marathon on it (as many other lists have) since I sprained my knee. However, I really couldn’t come up with a good way to convey having that completely healed in a goal. If you have any ideas I’d love to hear them. Chelso, let me know if you have any resolutions you will keep in mind for the new year! I always like to encourage them – they are fun to stare at later.

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