The End of My Failure. Oops

So, I totally fell off the wagon. I blame the bumpy road called shame. So after I had taco bell, I had two chicken egg rolls, weird chicken nuggets, and a cherry turn over.

The next day I had a pumpkin spice latte, again. Another Cherry Turnover..(I have a problem.) I then had Pho for dinner.

I don’t remember what I had after that but it wasn’t good for me. Whatever it was it was bad and greasy.

I definitely did not work out.

So… to satisfy the requirment I will tell you what I had yesterday. It did not get better. I may as well live in a vending machine.

Yesterday: I had Del Taco: I had a del beef burrito and a chicken quesadilla, and a giant gatorade. Later I had I think five “brownie bites”, easy mac, fruit snacks, and another one of those gross sippy smoothie things.

Today: I had a pumpkin spice latte ( a venti) after already having one cup of coffee that was mostly creamer. I also had a plain bagel with cream cheese. For lunch I had a salad, from costco which was only 280 calories. Then in class it was our professor’s birthday, and someone brought cake. So I ate it without shame. I had the first slice. I am an animal.

It is no surprise…. I wrote this over a week ago and it deleted half of what i was saying. Ultimately I got sick again, but I survived it. This is sub par, but i wanted to post something. I also typed in “Fail Cat” into google images. I was in class but people were staring at me, or it felt like they were. I didn’t see any of these up close. So here you go.



Day 3 and 4 “Days of Shame”

I was a very very very very bad Mow.

I decided to do 3 and 4 due to the food I just inhaled, I need to post before the shame and threat level take me. Granted I deserve it.

Yesterday started off with a cup of coffee (plenty of creamer and a little cinnamon sugar) half a pumpkin bagel smothered in cream cheese and this weird fruit paste. It was called “Shine”, and it may have been some kind of organic beauty product. It was thick and kind of crunchy and came in the weird baby food pouches.

For lunch I continued to be bad. I had panda express. I got a two entree, I had orange chicken and mushroom chicken and ate every bite. Chow mein and rice were also present, but I only ate half (because dieting).

Then I hate 3/4 of a bag of  sweet chilli pistachios. They were delicious.

For Dinner I had a heaping bowl of spaghetti. Yep. Then heartburn.

That concluded my eating.

I went to the gym and had a decent run/walk.

It wasn’t a totally horrible day but it wasn’t good.

This morning I repeated my breakfast from yesterday.

Unfortunately I sort of forgot about this for a little while and let myself succumb to the worst of the worst… I just binge ate taco bell.

I haven’t ever really been able to eat taco bell, but I stopped eating it all together in 2013. Recently, I have slowly been reintroducing it back in my life. I’m not really sure why. But sometimes I see a taco bell commercial and I just want to be a cool kidz.

I ate dorito taco, a crunch wrap supreme, and nachos. Oh yeah with a pepsi. I also ate it while I was in bed. Oddly, I’m not having a bad day, I just wanted it, and its cheap. I need to get my shit together, haha but that is going to be hard after eating taco bell.

If I eat anymore tonight I will surely post it with my next round. I doubt I’ll be doing much eating, my body is going to die.

Fun Fact, I always type what i’m going to search before I actually search it. Today I am going to type in Bad Kitty, and hope nothing pornographic pops up:

Day 2.

I, by no means, should be able to call myself an adult.

Also, on Day 1 I had a pumpkin spice latte with almond milk from starbucks. I still got whipped cream, because lactose intolerance doesn’t include whipped cream.

Day 2 also began with a Pumpkin spice latte. This time I didn’t pretend that I care about my body. I got nonfat milk and whipped cream, and decided to deal with the consequences. Because of my poor eating habits from the day before, I decided to start the day with something hardy. I ordered an everything bagel with cream cheese. I love everything bagels. While the guy was ringing me up, I noticed he put in multi-grain bagel. (I don’t like multigrain or wheat bagels). I decided not to correct him because I don’t care that much, and we were having a pleasant conversation. He helps me daily, and I didn’t want him to think he messed up. Me, thinking I was being polite, ended up causing some trouble. Apparently, I got the last multi-grain bagel. The person in the drive thru wanted a multi-grain but ran out. Also, the lady behind me wanted multi-grain. I felt guilty because more often than not that starbucks never has the food item I want because they always run out. I realized now that I am part of that problem. In a sick way, everyone wanting that bagel made me enjoy it a little more, but at the end of the day it was a dry and flavorless bread flavored cream cheese serving apparatus.

For “Lunch” I went with Francisco to Quizonos. My stomach was still weird, and full from my coveted bagel, so I decided to bypass the sandwich and get more starbucks. This time I got a sparking sangria whatever beverage and a very old banana. My options were Green or Black. I chose black. So I really got half of a banana. I picked at it, like a microwavable meal that I didn’t pick out at the store;I ate the good parts and threw away the rest without much thought.

About an hour later, I got hungry. Very hungry. But my stomach was kind of upset, so I bought a sparkling water and twizzlers. I ate them all in less than five minutes.

I had Jersey Mikes for dinner. A sandwich consisting of turkey,provolone,bacon, avocado, mayo, and lettuce. I got the mini size which is about 6-8 inches long. I also ate a bag of jalepeno chips, and a large pepsi. I allow myself one soda a week. I made it count. It bit back, I had heart burn all night.

After I ate I went to Power Yoga. I usually go with Rene, but she couldn’t come last night. I felt brave enough to go by myself. It was not relaxing as I would like. The instructor was not very zen, and was getting mad at people being bad. Then she yelled at some weirdo who came in to stare at everyone. I also had a lady yell at me for being in “her spot” when she was 15 minutes late. Despite the lack of deep relaxation I sweated like a pig for an hour, and did yoga with the flexibility of a steel rod.

When I got home I ate one mini blueberry muffin for absolutely no reason. It was there, and my mouth was close enough to it. I also made some rasberry tea. I also cant remember how to spell rasberry.

In honor of me not being a real adult. Here is a picture of me, not giving any cares, looking way more mature at 10, than my diet is at 23.



Day 1

Well, It could have gone worse.

I started the day with a mile walk, because I had to get my tire changed. My dad and I walked to an Applebees. Where some mistakes (not horrible) but mistakes happened.

First I decided to get an appetizer platter for breakfeast, because screw food roles. If I want boneless buffalo wings for breakfast instead of pancakes, that’s my business and I will force you to respect me.

The sampler came with about 6 boneless wings, and ranch dressing. Also celery that I didn’t touch because I’m not a monster. It also came with three wonton chicken tacos, filled with asian slaw. They were good, but probably not good for me.

Then I did a mile back to costco.

Applebee’s w as a bad choice because I hit threat level midnight on my ride home, and had to say a lot of prayers that I made it to the bathroom.

For “Linner”, I had a big bowl of tomato bisque. Two pieces of buttered toast, and a day old Chicken strip, that I got through half of before feeling gross.

Then I went to target, and bought a york peppermint patty. That is literally all I bought. I stood in line for 5 mintues, for a piece of candy…

I also went to the gym and ran/walk for about 3 miles.

I didn’t exactly have dinner, but I had 1.5 breadsticks that I dipped in spaghetti sauce, and a Kinder egg from korea.

I learned I really don’t like people food. I didn’t eat that much, but I ate weird things, and could get more nutrition from 6.00 at a vending machine.

Here is what I got when I googled “not people food”:

7 Days of Deadly Sins

Today I decided that I needed to start working out again. I tend to decide this every week, and epically fail. Life is hard and busy, and I unfortunately can not convince my body to give me a break just this one semester. So, I have created what I am going to call 7 days of deadly sins.

I am going to confess all the things I have eaten(or not eaten) and all the times that I worked out (or sat on my ass).
Confession, and food diaries have always scared me. I usually end up omitting the part of the day where I open the cupboard and start eating anything I can reach until   I find something I actually wanted to eat.

I can not lie to you Maryanne like I lie to myself, so I thought a threat of embarrassment will keep me honest.
I encourage you to join.

However, you do not have to treat it as a health thing, you can totally brag about watching Netflix and eating bags of gluten free trail mix. I would love to read it. I am not sure if I am going to post every day, or at the end, but get ready.

Like most diets, the gods hear that you are trying to quit sweets so it starts raining free donuts from the sky. Best of Luck to you. Or not.

Here is what happened when I typed in bad habits:

Chelso is oh so Gross-o

Because I am gross. 


So I have taken it upon myself to name each of those little “oh god” that happen after you eat at certain restaurants. I am of the opinion that each one is slightly different and has a specific effect. I hope you enjoy.

  1. The Rubio’s Rumbles
  2. Domino’s Drip Drops
  3. In n out Slow Implosions
  4. Panda Express Eruptions
  5. Chipotle Odorous Show in Tell
  6. Mcdonalds Mccramps and Mcraps
  7. Del Taco Gas Factory
  8. TacoBell Tummy Tantrum
  9. Starbuck’s Coffee Spurts
  10. BurgerKing Backwards Bulimia
  11. Carl’s Jr. Three Day Journey

Due to my busy schedule I have eaten a lot more fast food than I had intended. This is by no means a complete list but it has been a fun little exercise in creativity and bodily functions. It is not exactly the most lady like thing to discuss but it is not my fault that humor and femininty don’t go together.

I have also been a bad girl and started drinking soda again because”I need caffeine” . Luckily I have been working out like a fiend to combat obesity but I think I am going to give it up again this week.

All the extra sugar has not made my skin happy, like it is super pimply, you would think I washed my face with old Carl’s Jr. frier oil.

Imagine driving up to the Carl’s Jr. Window with an empty Neutrogena Face Wash bottle and “asking for a refill”. 

I don’t think anything else gross has really happened to me, other then my innate ability to find gum that has been stuck to a bottom of a desk.

I also found an old muffin wrapper under my carseat. That was pretty gross.

Well that is why I am disgusting.

Now Time for Random Pictures!

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