Not the Mow We Want, but the Mow We NEED

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Dear Chelso,

There was a lady with this bomb-ass beard bag. But even better, she brought her two cats on the train this past Monday. As you can kind of make out, she is just cuddling that kitten and cradling it in her arms. At some point though she apparently needs to do something – so she just plops the kitten down on top of the sleepy orange cat there – and they just curl up into each other and continue to nap on this loud and crowded train.

I’ve only been riding this train for about two months now, and I’ve seen and experienced so many strange things. Today, my coworker and I stared at this fully furnished wheelchair sitting in the isle for most of the trip home. It had a dirty pink cushion and a pint of opened Sprite all propped up on it. Who walked away from their wheelchair? Did they lose it? Did a miracle occur? Did they wander off the train and now there’s someone somewhere trying to make their way back to this chair? Was someone trying to donate an extra chair to this crowded train? Is it a bomb in disguise? All of these questions were only partially answered when a man from a different seating area only accessible by stairs, wearing all camouflage, just as dirty as the pink cushion, grabbed the wheelchair and rolled it off with him.

After the man left with his wheelchair, I overheard a guy loudly complain that he’s 30 and therefore working for a living and that he was disgruntled with people were always mistaking him for a student. No one can recognize how old he is. The guy he was talking to was like, “just wait until you’re my age!” 30-yr-old says “50?”

“Oh! You flatter me I’m 58 this year.”

30-yr-old: “Well I mean it, it’s not like you’re a girl that I’m trying to take on a date.”

I hope you don’t mind me forcing these stories on you, but I am just somehow always more surprised and impressed than the time before. Look forward to your next creations!

Mow

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I Spent Too Long on This

Day in my current life:

On the way to work

I see a lot of stuff

I smell a lot of smells

And I try to look real tough.

My cat used to mow and wake me

Now it’s I to make her rise

To dive in traffic early

Go watch the homeless guys.

I sit and stare at numbers

Crafting stories up for each

I squawk at lots of people

Making friends much like a leech.

I’m scared to be by windows

The glass is thin as paper

An age before double panes –

Not safe in this sky scraper.

Attempting to save money,

But I always want more food

Quiet room and crinkly snack bags –

I like to set the mood.

The awkward of the restrooms

Listen to people sigh

On break I hunt for coffee

To get my caffeine high.

Aggressive elevators

With slamming kind of doors

It shakes and groans in movement

And stops for empty floors.

So homeward bound I go

Brain now made of beans

Eat dinner and stare at cat

Sleep ends my days’ routines.

I hope this gives you a peek into my new daily life. I am enjoying the newness and nuances of it and try to see the humor of it all. I also absolutely spent too long making this but I will try to make up for the time sunk cost and post again this week! I am going to go pass out now.